I've heard that there are some human experiences that make life shift in meaning. Although I've been raising money to donate to helping people who experience homelessness, I've never actually talked with someone who was experiencing homelessness... I know, it's a bit weird not actually having talked to the very people I'm trying to advocate for. I've also never had extra cash to give on hand (most of the time, I just have my credit/debit cards). But today was different.
I've been carrying around the cash that people gave me from purchasing/donating for the Perseverance Penguin Project in hopes that I'd be able to use it for people I meet who need it.
Today, I was walking across the parking lot to Safeway to pick up some groceries. I had my headphones in, so I wasn't too sure when I walked by, but I had some sense that someone had said something to me. I took my headphones out and looked around, noticing a man with a whitened beard sitting near the curb, looking at me.
I asked, "I'm sorry, did you say something?"
And he said, "Spare any change?"
It used to be that I didn't have any cash on me. Today though, I had my pouch of penguin plushie cash in my car. I told the man that I'd be back— I went to the car, retrieved the pouch, and returned.
I wasn't absolutely certain of if he was asking for spare change because he had forgotten his wallet while going to Safeway or if he didn't have enough money for basic needs of survival. I had a feeling it was the latter, but I didn't assume and decided that it didn't matter.
He had on a bright green bike helmet, an orange shirt, and shorts. He didn't seem particularly dirty, he didn't have a sign— essentially, he didn't "look" like a person experiencing homelessness. I hate to admit my small-mindedness, but I think this was part of what made this experience shift my perspective. Internally, I think I had categorized people experiencing homelessness as people with a certain "look." The conversation that followed, of course, made the experience all the more meaningful.
I asked him how much he preferred, and he said however much I had to give. At that point, I figured out that it for sure wasn't a forgotten-a-wallet-for-a-sandwich situation. So I told him that I have money that I fundraised, and I would've given him it all, but I wanted to spread it out to more people. I gave him $60, and he said that it would typically take a long time to get that much. With a thankful smile, he asked how I raised the money.
I briefly told him about how I'd make and sell penguin plushies on Reed campus. At the mention of Reed, he smiled and told me I must be smart to be there, and that "we need more smart people like you in the world."
In the conversation from there, he mentioned that there's a lot of trash that people leave behind in the world, and living on the streets, he mentioned that he'd pick up the trash around where he'd go. I told him that it was awesome that he did that for the environment, and he shook his head slightly, saying his parents raised him to treat the world around him well.
We talked a bit about Reed College and our families. Eventually we even shared our names. Ernie was his name— he started calling himself that when his grandkids called him that (after Ernie from Sesame Street). I told him that my name is Er, a shortened form of Erika. He said he wouldn't easily forget that name, as all you have to do is remember breathing.
A friend of his stopped by on a bike— his name was Steve. The two of them talked for a bit about an older man they knew with $4000 in hospital fees. From what they said, he's 70 years old (although he doesn't look it) and not doing well. Steve himself appeared to have some cuts on his legs. When he introduced himself to me, he shook my hand. When I said my name, he nodded and said he has a grandkid named either "Summer Rain" or "Autumn Rain" (I apologize for forgetting which one— both names are beautiful).
As the conversation waned, Ernie thanked me again and asked if he could give me a hug. Of course I hugged him, then said, "I hope you have a really good day." Of all the times I've wished someone a good day, this time felt the most impactful. Then I went inside Safeway on my initial mission to buy groceries.
I was so trapped in my thoughts that I forgot to get a cart from outside Safeway, so midway into the fruit section of the store, I went outside to grab a cart. Ernie was on the bike Steve had ridden, when he saw me he smiled and said, "I've ridden one of these before, but it's been a while." As he tested the footholds and rode into the parking lot, I smiled, saying, "You've got this!"
Essentially, what I personally take from this tale is that... well... people experiencing homelessness are people. It sounds so simple of a concept, yet, it's been drilled into me and a lot of people that I know that you have to look away from those people with the signs on the side of the road. Don't talk to them. Don't offer them anything. Just ignore and don't interact.
But can you imagine living in a world where it's encouraged for everyone to pretend you're invisible?
Next time you see someone on the streets asking for money, if you can, perhaps spare a dollar or five. And if they're open to it, try talking with them. Share something about your life, learn about theirs... Or if it's too intimidating for now, try purchasing a penguin plushie. Then I'll do the interacting on your behalf.